Eclipsed Passion
by lessa4
Summary: Kai struggles to keep his promises, Tala despises himself for making Kai take the vows. The phoenix is torn between past and present lovers, the wolf longs to escape the torture of Bolcov. TalaKai ReiKai R for violence, limes, language, and rape
1. Part I

Okay, this is a brainchild that was developed, and then forgotten, only to be rediscovered a while ago. BTW, the title just sounded good, and only has to do with a very small part of the story. I really have no idea why I came up with it. It will be at least three parts, maybe four, but I'm not sure yet. Very dark and angsty, the whole uncertainty and self-doubt bit. The POVs switch, but it's mostly either Tala, Kai, or third person. Rei's is in there once or twice. Tala/Kai, Kai/Rei. Fun stuff. -

And now introducing . . . Tala-isms. (n. tal-ah-iz-ums) Something I came up with, with a lot of encouragement from AG. These are random, cliché phrases that Tala will say, and then either spoof off of, or completely disprove while mocking to oblivion. I have a lot of fun writing them, and depending on how the public (i.e., you) views them, I may write an entire fic of Tala-isms. 'Cause he's just so cool.

Righty ho, you know the drill, never have and never will own a thing, including Beyblade and any other brand or product mentioned in this fic. The voices in my head tell me what to write, so make them happy and leave a review. They work better that way, and the better they work, the better I work, and everybody's happy, 'cause a pissed Lessa is a scary Lessa, and nobody wants that . . .

Eclipsed Passion

Part One

There's a place inside every person that belongs to them alone, and no one can understand the difference between these separate sanctuaries. That is why man is a destructive force; one person can barely come close to completely understanding another, so how can one _nation_ accept another, when a nationality, by definition, is many people simply united by a government?

So when you find the person that understands who you are, and sees, if not belongs to that special place, you fight like hell to keep them safe. He knows how much he means to me. I've told him so many times that if he _doesn't_ know by now, I need to whack him a good one upside the head. I helped him escape Grandpa Nutcase and Uncle Psycho, and supported him when he joined his new team. I almost murdered him when he came back for Black Dranzer, I was afraid that Voltaire would destroy everything that makes him so wonderful for good.

And he knows that too. He knows that if he came back for any reason, even to save my sorry ass, I'd kill him, and never speak to him again. If that makes any sense at all.

So as I lay here on the cold floor, the familiar sensation of something warm and sticky surround me, and the realization that it's blood only from the tangy smell, because I can't see, I'm glad he won't come. I'm happy he has barely a clue as to how bad it's gotten.

Ironic, isn't it. The one person that can help me, and I don't want him anywhere near here. Life's a bitch, and then you die.

And then you die.

- . . . - . . . -

Bryan sat quietly on the bed, watching his smallest team member pace. Back and forth Ivan went, all the while muttering things that he could hardly hear. "Dammit . . . why the hell did they . . . aw fuck it . . . kill them both . . . Boris . . . bastard . . ."

Finally he couldn't stand it any longer. "Cut it out Ivan." The small boy turned to face him. "Pacing won't bring him back any sooner, and you're making me dizzy. So stop it, before I tie you to a chair."

Over in a corner, Spencer shook his head as his two friends bickered. He wouldn't say anything; this was their way of dealing with things. Leaning his forehead against the wall, he closed his eyes with a sigh. _Common Tala. Where are you?_

- . . . - . . . -

"Three . . . two . . . one Let it rip!"

"Dranzer!"

"Go Dragoon! Get ready to lose Kai!"

I watched as my blade exploded from its launcher and raced towards the opponent. Dranzer blazed in fiery glory, even in a practice match. My phoenix put on an extra burst of speed, cutting around behind Dragoon, tilting under the other blade's rim, tossing into the air and out of the dish. I lifted my eyes from the completed battle to see Tyson's crestfallen face. It was his own fault for being so cocky.

Dranzer returned to my fist and I fitted my blade back into place in the launcher. "Again."

Tyson groaned, reaching down to pick up Dragoon. But instead of setting the ripcord, the lazy dolt flopped onto the ground next to the dish. "Aw, common Kai. 'M tired, and you didn't let me have dinner."

A giggle sounded from behind us and I heard Max say, "Tyson, you did so eat dinner." The blonde laughed again. I swear the boy is on a constant sugar-high. "You ate three helpings of mashed potatoes, six pieces of chicken, the left-over pizza in the fridge and half a raspberry pie."

The dragon master sighed, his navy eyes looking at me imploringly, failing to move me with . . . uh . . . _cuteness_. "But I'm hungry Kai. If I don't eat, I'll waste away to nothing."

An incredulous snort was audible as the dark-haired Chinese Blader lifted his head from his interrupted attempt at meditation. Golden eyes glittered with mirth at the blue-haired boy. "Oh, I think you'll manage, Ty." Then those slitted eyes turned to look at me, in a much more effective look of pleading than Tyson had tried. "It _is_ getting kinda late, Kai. Let's call it a night and we can start again in the morning."

I glanced around at my team mates. Max was nodding. Tyson was giving me a crazy grin, hoping I would cave. Even Kenny wasn't helping; the Chief had his arms wrapped around Dizzy and was snoring gently.

I closed my eyes in resignation. Crossing my arms over my chest I growled, "Fine." Tyson and Max gave a whoop, running past to get to the house that we were renting, missing the second part of what I was saying, " . . . But be up at six tomorrow." As they flew past, the two morons pushed Kenny from his perch on the rock, effectively waking him up. Chief looked around for a moment, I imagined that he blinked owlishly, but you couldn't see his eyes behind the glasses, then, after fussily checking that his precious Dizzy was alright, followed the others into the house.

The only one I would openly admit to call "friend" on this team smiled at me, respecting my space as he passed. I would willingly say that he was my friend, but I wasn't ready to tell the world that I had found more than a friend in Rei Kon. And he respected that too. "Don't stay up too late Kai. You're mortal too, you know."

- . . . - . . . -

I lay on the bed in the room that Kai and I shared, listening to the rain that thudded on the roof above me in great heavy sheets. I love the rain, just as long as I'm not stuck in it. A bolt of lightning flashed just as the thunder roared and I jumped. It was like a scene out of one of those cheesy old movies. Thunder and lightning, then the door opens and in steps a sopping wet figure, eyes hidden by shadow.

Kai shook his head like a dog, spraying water all over. Peeling off his soaking shirt the phoenix paced across the floor and into the bathroom. I heard the water turn on, and the curtain over the shower open and close.

With a sigh, I turned my head to look out the window again, watching as the rain poured down the glass. I lost track of time, simply following each rivulet as it made its way from the top of the window to the bottom. Reality only called to me when I noticed that the water was no longer running. Happy day! (This meant Kai in a towel . . .)

The bathroom door opened, and steam rolled out in lazy little puffs. Kai came out with a towel (ha!) around his waist, looking like he was floating on the steam. An angel descending from the clouds.

But no angel would ever have fierce markings painted on his face, nor hold such dark secrets.

Kai rarely bothered to unpack anything, preferring to live out of his bag. So he went over to the corner where he kept it, kneeling down on the ground. He fished around; pulling on some pants, then paused for a moment, his hand lingering over some little trinket. I sat up, trying to see what it was, but I couldn't. Smiling to myself, I slid off the bed and came up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck.

He dropped the thing back into the confines of his bag, but I caught a glimpse of something silver, a piece of jewelry. It didn't really matter. "Excited about the tour?" I asked him casually.

He shrugged, putting his hands on mine, sliding his fingers up and down my forearms. "Hn."

I giggled at his typical reply, nuzzling his neck. He leaned his head back with a soft sigh, eyes closed. He didn't say anything else, just let me lead him to the bed and wrapped his arms around me. It was a long time before he fell asleep.

- . . . - . . . -

I lay there with Rei in my arms, wondering how he would react if he had seen my necklace. It was silver, a round disc with a phoenix carved into it. Inscribed on the back were the words that haunted and comforted me at the same time. 'With all the love in my heart. Tala.'

But it didn't matter anymore, that was the past. And I would never see him again. He had forbidden me.


	2. Part II

Okay, this is kinda discouraging. Ah well, I'll live. Okay, part two. Standard disclaimers. Lots of stuff happening, big lime in the middle here, and the plot thickens. Duh-duh dun!

Part Two 

I finally had the sense to drag myself from the hard, unforgiving ground to the bed. It wasn't exactly the best of places in my book, but it was a lot better than the floor. As I eased my aching body onto the mattress, I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. More blood trickled from the new cut in my lip, but I barely registered it, merely licking it away.

Hugging my knees to my chest, I sat there in fear, jumping at the smallest things. Despising myself. Despising him more. Shadows danced along the walls and ceiling, making my pulse race with adrenaline. Fight or flight reaction. You'd choose flight, wouldn't you, you coward? Every little noise, the creak of a floorboard, the sound of snow being blown against the window, made my heart jump with anxiety. My mind spun, unable to distract itself from this horrible wait.

Is that him? No, relax, it was nothing. Wait . . . listen . . . is it . . . no. Is he coming at all? Am I safe? How long will it last? Has he forgotten me for now? Oh, please, let him have gotten bored for a while.

But in my heart I knew that that was too much to ask for, it would never happen, as long as both of us still drew breath.

Finally too tired to care, I closed my eyes and leaned back against the headboard. Nothing for it but sleep, and with sleep comes dreams. And the dreams bring my only escape.

Dream Sequence

The boy looked up sharply as his roommate entered, trying to make as little noise as possible. The bluenette failed to do so, he was too sore and stiff to move as silently as he would have liked.

"Kai?"

Fire blended with ice, and Tala knew what had happened to his friend. Motioning for Kai to sit on his bed, Tala reached under his own mattress for a roll of bandages and a white tube. He stood to see the other pull his shirt off gingerly and toss it to the floor. Unscrewing the cap, the redhead squeezed a generous amount of salve onto his fingertips. Pushing Kai gently to lay down with his free hand, Tala slathered the cool gel onto the fresh bruises on his friend's chest and arms, massaging lightly.

Warm fingertips coated in slightly colder liniment moved to his abdomen, easing away the pain. "Tala? Is there something wrong with me?" The voice was a whisper, uncertain, as Kai never was. This was serious then.

The hands paused for a moment, then resumed as the other masked his surprise and anger. "No Kai. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, it's not your fault."

"That's not what I mean…" his voice trailed off as he struggled to explain the thoughts and emotions that were so well hidden they confused even their owner. "Bor- he said that- that he loved me… and I almost believed him. I think that I wanted to, but I know I don't. I don't want to more, but if he loves me… then… I just don't know anymore, Tala. I just don't know." The boy placed his head in his hands, trusting in his best friend to protect him in his moment of weakness.

Tala was silent for a minute that seemed to stretch into hours, as his salve-dipped fingers attended to Kai's hips above his low-riding jeans. He gazed at the furious purple markings that marred the smooth skin before speaking. "He does love you, but not in the way you're thinking. He loves you like a man loves a possession, as something that belongs only to him, to be owned and coveted, something he can do with whatever he wants without any consequences. Like a man loves an object, not a person, and that is what's wrong. Wrong and sick. He could never really love you Kai, not like I …"

He stopped abruptly, but it was too late. In his passionate fury, he had crossed the boundary, had said too much. He looked up to meet the other's crimson eyes, waiting for judgment.

Kai sat up, back straight as a rod. Tala… but no. Things like that only happened in fairy tales. You fall in love with your best friend, who you _know_ would never be more than that, and suddenly, he says something that makes you think, maybe, just maybe…

The redhead started to stand up, but Kai grabbed his wrist, pulling him back down, his voice clipped and quiet. "Tala. Finish." The magma eyes were veiled again, not betraying a single thought.

The wolf master sighed in resignation. "He could never really love you. Not like I do." The last was a whisper, so soft that Kai could barely hear. Icy eyes suddenly met his in defiance, daring him lash out at the confession.

End Sequence

I gazed dreamily at the ceiling, having just woken up from my pleasant little trip down Memory Lane. Imagine my surprise when, instead of reaching out and smacking me like I thought he would, Kai kissed me. Thus began a beautiful relationship that neither of us wanted to end. But we had to.

Flashback

Tala shoved the duffle bag into Kai's arms, kissing him fast and rough. "The gate is unlocked. Get out of here Kai, and never come back."

"Tal-" he spluttered. "What the fuck do you mean?"

"I mean run. I mean get out of here before I pick you up and toss you out myself. This might be your only chance."

"No," he denied. "I won't leave…"

"Dammit Kai! I'm not giving you a choice! Get the hell out of here. We'll be fine, but if _you_ don't go, he'll destroy everything that I love about you."

The bluenette grabbed the icy-eyed youth's arm in frustration. "I won't let my grandfather do that. And I won't let Boris touch any of you. If I'm gone what's to stop…"

Tala's lips covered the other's, cutting him off. He thrust something into Kai's hand, pulling away harshly. "Kai, I can only give you five minutes. Use them." With that, the redhead turned around, walking away swiftly to cause enough trouble to cover his lover's escape. He didn't look back.

End Flashback

Even then, he knew. He knew that Boris would come after one of us. Kai couldn't stand to let that happen, but he thought I would be able to protect them. That was the only reason he let himself leave. And I did protect them. Ivan, Bryan and Spencer are fine, maybe a little worse for wear, but what can you expect? But I couldn't protect me. I'm living a nightmare, and I can hardly wait to die. Hell can't be worse than this.

But I can't die . . . the thought of seeing Kai again is all that it takes to make me hold on.

Except I made sure he wouldn't come back. I hate me.

Rei's amber eyes watched me as I paced back and forth in front of the bed. He knew better than to say anything right now.

Russia. Mr. Dickenson wanted to take us on a world tour, which was bad enough, but no, the first stop just had to be fucking _Russia_. Bloody Hell. I had promised that I would never go back to Bolcov Abbey, and it was one that I had kept well, since I had been nowhere near Moscow for years. But now, I was going to be staying in a hotel at the edge of said city, only fifteen miles from the Abbey. I could drive there in about ten minutes.

And I knew that I would have to. I hadn't seen any of my friends since I had left and I missed my old team, not that I'd admit it to anyone but them. And Tala would be there. Tala . . . my best friend, my first love. The world's greatest contradiction ever known. Fiery hair, icy eyes. Soothing voice, biting tongue. The straightforward one with a backwards wit that would have mad a great punster like Shakespeare weep for joy. My wolf. My Tala.

I didn't realize I had stopped pacing until my koi spoke. "You're going to go see him, aren't you?" I looked up, surprised. He gave a soft, wistful smile. "I know that you want to. You always have a certain look when you think about him."

Something in Rei's voice was sad, like he had lost something precious. But I didn't understand why, there was nothing for him to lose. I sat next to him on the mattress, wrapping my arms around him. He leaned into my chest, taking a deep breath, inhaling my smell.

"I love you Kai."

I just smiled at those three typical words, but I knew there was no other way to put it. I pulled him closer, feeling him snuggle into my before closing his eyes to catch one of his curious catnaps. I held him in my arms, feeling the gentle, rhythmic beating of his heart and the steady rise and fall of his chest. I brushed away a wayward tendril of midnight hair, gazing at his sleeping face.

Suddenly in my mind's eye, the body in my arms grew harder, adding even more wiry muscle than Rei already had. The hair that tickled my chin flashed a brilliant bloody red, and the eyes drifted open. Not amber, as they had been before, but blue. A shocking, electric blue. Those magnificent eyes looked at me just as they had all those years ago, when we hadn't said goodbye to each other. I bent down and touched soft pink lips with my own, gently caressing his warm mouth.

Tala groaned, and I broke the kiss to allow some air. No, not Tala. Rei. He smiled up at me with tawny orbs, pressing himself all the closer. He flicked his tongue along the curve of my ear and I shivered with excitement. Rei. My koi, my tiger. The one that I love.

I untied the wrap in his hair, letting the dark mass fall around us, kissing him again. I gasped when a small fang nipped at my lip, causing me to open my mouth to him. Our tongues mingled and danced as Rei leaned back, pulling me with him. I struggled out of my shirt, tossing it carelessly to the floor. His tunic followed shortly, and he pressed his warm, tanned skin against mine.

I felt a tug at my belt, but instead of letting him get too far yet, I carried my caressing mouth down his throat, pausing at his wildly beating pulse to lick and kiss. His neck arched back, giving me a better range, which I took willingly, eliciting soft moans from the beautiful one beneath me. I ran my hand down his side, smiling through my kissing as his back lifted in pleasure at my touch. He took my earlobe in his hot mouth, making my eyes widen, forcing me to stop and take a deep, steadying breath.

I returned so that our tongues met again, tasting his passion, and that wonderful flavor that reminded my so much of another. His hand was at the base of my neck, pulling me even closer, and I obliged. My fingers twined through the mass of ebony, refusing to let him go. A warm hand was on my back, stroking gently, deliciously. I hooked my fingers under the hem of his pants, touching the skin that covered his hip bone. Rei gasped, pressing up against me, softly biting at my shoulder and collarbone. His hand slipped from my neck to my waist, fumbling with the belt. I growled impatiently, soon rewarded by the quiet jingling that told me the buckle was undone.

Taking his lips with mine again, I showed him how much I loved him, better than any cliché phrase ever could.

When Life hands you lemons, make lemonade. But the thing is, I don't like lemonade. So my theory is, keep the lemons, and when you have enough, chuck them as hard as you can back at Life.

I think Life got tired of getting stuff chucked at it, so it chucked those damn lemons right back. After which my pride would allow for nothing other than a full fledged food-fight with Life. But Life cheated. It didn't want to fight me (Life knew I would win, of course, I always win). So it started chucking other things.

Don't you hate that? People don't want to play by your rules, so they change the rules to fit them best. I tried that once. It wasn't pretty. The rules say I lost the tournament for my team, and for that, I get "punished." I _really_ don't like these rules. In fact, I don't even like the game. Isn't it supposed to work 'three strikes you're out'? Well, I skipped strikes two and three, and I'm not out, I'm screwed. Take that as you will.

He came again that morning, ravaging me, satiating his twisted desire, then leaving me hours later, broken again. Broken, in mind, body and spirit. I think that's the part that bothers me the most, that makes me hate myself. All he has to do is look at me, and I shrink away. The longer he's gone, the more I can convince myself that I'm strong; I can start to build up my walls. But then he comes, and tears them down one more time, destroying me over and over again.

And he knows that's what's happening. He enjoys tormenting me, sending my mind to the brink of insanity, before pulling me back again with physical pain and pleasure. Sometimes, I just wish he would let me fall. But no, he's put too much time into me, spending several hours everyday enjoying the perfect toy that he has created. That's what he whispers in my ear as he takes me. I am his toy, his pet. I'm nothing but a whore, and when I scream, he still thinks me a virgin, not something that's been passed around for the fun of it. A cheap party favor of the worst kind. A weakling that no one but him cares about. That I should be grateful, because if it weren't for him, I'd be dead. Then he leaves me to bleed, and sleep, and to wake when the nightmares release me, crying silently, because there's no one there to hear.

Wishing you were somehow here again,

Wishing you were somehow near,

Sometimes it seemed,

If I just dreamed,

Somehow you would be here.

I sigh as I recall what he threw at me, remembering his words. The Bladebreakers were in Russia. Kai was in Moscow. How badly I wanted to see him, how I wished that I had never said those things to him. How I wished that he would actually listen, for I knew that, being the stubborn ass that he is, he won't.

I buried my head in my hands. I felt like someone had just placed a five ton rock on each of my shoulders, and then ordered me, on pain of death, to go climb Mount Everest. Life just overwhelmed me, making me feel like I would drown in despair. Looking out the window, I watched the sun fade below the horizon, leaving behind it the forlorn purples and blues of an abandoned landscape. The world lay in darkness, helpless against the shadows that threaten to overpower the frail hope that disappears with the sun.

I turn away from the sight, but the night had reached here even more than it had outside. There was no escape from the torture and torment that came with each setting of the great Helios.

Wishing I could hear your voice again

Knowing that I never would

Dreaming of you

Won't help me to do

All that you dreamed

I could

Standing at the window, I stared out at the snow as it drifted from the dark night sky, the pendant warm and smooth in my hand. The world around me blurred in on itself until nothing was recognizable and my inner battle came to the fore. I wanted to see him again; I wanted to make sure he was okay. But I had given my word, and that was nothing to take lightly. I was so close though; no one was around to stop me. I could get him out; we could be free of Bolcov forever. But there was no way I could get in undetected. I could practically hear him calling me, 'Kai,' he said. 'Kai, come and find me.'

"Kai?"

I glanced up to see his reflection staring at mine, his eyes soft with worry. I blinked, wanting to be alone and hoping he would get the message. No such luck. "Kai, we have to talk.

I turned around to look at him, leaning up against the cold window with my arms crossed. He folded himself into a lotus position on the bed and studied the floor for a moment, unsure of what to say. Finally he brushed his bangs from his eyes with an impatient hand and spoke.

"Kai, I know you've been thinking about Bolcov since Mr. D said we were going to Moscow, and now that we're here, you want to go back, for your old team, and because of Tala . . ." he paused, gathering himself to voice his next thought. "Kai, he wanted you to leave. If you go back, everything he worked for will go to pieces. I know you miss him, but if not for me, then for Tala, stay away from the Abbey."

His golden eyes were filled with pleading, asking me to say something reassuring, to promise that I wouldn't go near the place of my childhood nightmares. But I couldn't. Pushing off from the wall, I clenched my jaw, refusing to look at him. "I can't abandon him. You have no idea what it's like, and I _will not_ leave him there." My hand clenched the silver chain that dangled from my fist.

Rei's brow furrowed and he reached out, catching hold of the disc, inspecting the engraved phoenix. He turned it over and I could see him piecing it all together. He leaned back, staring at me, face perfectly blank. "You still love him." It wasn't a question. His voice was filled with hurt, betrayed that I would do such a thing to him.

I froze. I still loved him. No, what we had was over, this was concern for my closest friend. I loved Rei, didn't I? Didn't I?

"No." And with that, I kissed him hard enough to bruise, leaving the hotel and my koi behind.


	3. Part III

Part Three, the shortest of them all. A little boring, but a necessary setup. Lots of song interlude, standard disclaimers. Avril Lavigne and Jekyll and Hyde.

Part Three

Tala's POV

People say that life is ruled by Fate. That Lady Destiny knows all that has been and all that will be and incorporates the two. 'No wrong shall go unpunished.' Fate's a bitch with a grudge. Either that, or I _really_ pissed someone off.

Whichever, I just wanted to shout 'I'm sorry! Lay off already!' But that would just be stupid, and if this whole mess is the doing of some higher force, I refuse to give them the satisfaction of letting them see that their little game was working. This statement will now be followed by a nervous, slightly crazed giggle. I swear, I'm not crazy. The skY Is OrANgE!

Sometimes, I wish I was crazy. Then I wouldn't have to feel this way, wouldn't have to deal with my life. Then I could welcome the darkness, and I could escape this cold that creeps into my heart, taking over my soul. But no crazy person can wonder if they're insane.

I'm looking for a place

Searching for a face

Is there anybody here I know

Cause nothings going right

And everything's a mess

And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me?

Won't someone please take me home?

Why is everything so confusing?

Maybe I'm just out of my mind . . .

Kai's POV

I sat in the car, engine off, staring ahead. Not one hundred yards away, I could see it. The place that's haunted me my entire life, where I left my best friend to rot. I glance at my rearview mirror, fighting my reflection. I can't leave him any longer. I promised I wouldn't come back for him. In everyone's life, there's a moment when they wish decisions were made for them. This is my moment.

This is the moment

This is the time

When the momentum and the moment

Are in rhyme

Give me this moment

This precious chance

I'll gather up my past

And make some sense at last

This is the moment

What do I do? I thought I had everything I wanted. I thought I had buried myself in the lies, that I was convinced what I had done was right. Glancing down at my lap, I open my fist, looking down at the necklace that glares at me from my palm.

You promised me you'd be fine, that you'd come find me as soon as it was all over. But it's been so long Tala. Where are you? You didn't keep your promise, does that mean I have to keep mine?

I'm standing on a bridge

I'm waiting in the dark

I thought that you'd be here by now

There's nothing but the rain

No footsteps on the ground

I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me?

Won't someone please take me home?

It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life

Wont you take me by the hand

take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I'm with you

Two bright spots of light lit the shadows of the side road as an engine roared. The boy inside clenched his jaw tight, shifting into gear. The headlights swept along the road as the vehicle began to move towards the menacing building, its final destination.


End file.
